Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Kittens, a commentary
I understand the new Kindle will have vocal playback. Somehow I doubt it would be as entertaining as this young lady.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Kid after the dentist
"Will this be forever?"
Depends on whether or not you become a rock star, kid. :)
Depends on whether or not you become a rock star, kid. :)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
A historic moment in America
Recently, an African American man moved from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned, not by him, but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count our blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.
Many of us believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of its forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets.
Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place.when this man takes up residency in this house.
This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character".
There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be ma ny times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly.
But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake - because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the Lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.
Who is this man? you ask. You think you know, don't you?
See below.
Many of us believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of its forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets.
Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place.when this man takes up residency in this house.
This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character".
There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be ma ny times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly.
But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake - because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the Lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.
Who is this man? you ask. You think you know, don't you?
See below.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Kids interpret things in interesting ways
A pad of paper: $5.
Crayons: $10.
Being a role model for your daughter: priceless.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah's picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith
Crayons: $10.
Being a role model for your daughter: priceless.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah's picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith
Monday, December 15, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The "special" napkins
My mother taught me to read when I was four years old. One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping ''napkins' in the bathroom.
Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for 'special occasions'. Now fast forward a few months....
It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a 'special occasion' Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!"
Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for 'special occasions'. Now fast forward a few months....
It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a 'special occasion' Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!"
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
AC/DC Excel Music Video
Yes, *that* Excel, the one from Microsoft. It's an ASCII music video. I think all I can say is ... WOW.
Obama Videos
Two videos for your edification: one a little scary and the other one pretty funny.
Homemade music videos...if his brother is in Iraq, he must be the oldest guy there! Sometimes I do wonder if the internet is a good thing....
This hockey mom does not like Palin. But she has a lot to say to fit into the music. Love the moosehead pianist.
Homemade music videos...if his brother is in Iraq, he must be the oldest guy there! Sometimes I do wonder if the internet is a good thing....
This hockey mom does not like Palin. But she has a lot to say to fit into the music. Love the moosehead pianist.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Old Ameriquest Commercial
This was recently sent my way, and I forgot how much I had enjoyed it then. Misunderstandings can be pretty funny!
Friday, October 31, 2008
2008 Submarine Racing Champions
Here are pictures of the top three winners of the 2008 Submarine Races!
What did you expect to see?
Thanks, Linda!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Puns for Friday
These are so bad, I should save them for Sunday and call it Punday. But I just enjoyed them too much to wait. #10 and #17 are my favorites. Happy Friday!
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Election to be decided by new demographic data
There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. I love the "underemployed mathematician" and "Dinty-Moore Dads". Wonder if we'll see these categories on the 2010 Census?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Drunken Pumpkins
There's a great summer recipe involving vodka and punching a hole in a fruit to create a "drunken watermelon". Looks like beer and pumpkins don't mix as well.
The last pumpkin looks a little, well, seedy.
Thanks for sending this in, Linda!
The last pumpkin looks a little, well, seedy.
Thanks for sending this in, Linda!
Monday, October 13, 2008
My new favorite joke about pirates
So, a pirate walks into a bar. He's regaled in complete pirate outfit with a parrot on his shoulder, the eyepatch, a gold tooth, and a hook for a hand. The only thing he was missing was a pirate hat. Instead, he had a folded paper towel on his head. After he'd tossed a few ales back, the barman said, "I gotta ask - why don't you have a pirate hat?"
The pirate replied, "Arrr, haven't ya hearrrd? Thar's a Bounty on me head!"
The pirate replied, "Arrr, haven't ya hearrrd? Thar's a Bounty on me head!"
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
If you were a child of the 80s - the Literal Version of Ah Ha's Take On Me
Pretty darn funny, and makes more sense than the original video!
Monday, October 6, 2008
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