How to earn a cushy spot in life

1. Find an unsuspecting baby lying on the grass, unattended by its parental units.



2. Next, make certain the object you spied is indeed a baby. It's recommended to do this by classic sniffing techniques, including the baby butt. If you smell baby powder, wet diapers, sour milk, or a diaper with a "baby present", you're spot on.


3. Flatten the baby to an appropriate size. Make certain to drool on him from your jowls. Germs are good for babies.


4. Slide said baby between your paws, similar to the way you hold a chewstick. Make sure to provide some lip-smacking actions, just in case it turns out it isn't a baby, but is in fact a chewstick.

5. Spy the hidden parental unit with the camera. Cock head in baroo fashion and lean in for the cute photo op. Wait for the "awwwww."






This should earn you pets, treats, and a warm safe place for life in addition to a fluffy human toy.

Bobby McWobbleson

On a recent trip to Yellowstone National Park, much of the park was still closed because of the harsh winter conditions and excessive snow from this year. This was my first time to visit the park and I was pretty excited. When I heard it was buffalo (bison) birthing season, I had hoped I would get to see a baby, from far away, of course. Bison are big animals and I had no desire to tussle with Mama Buff protecting her offspring.

As we drove through the Grand Loop, there was a long line-up of cars. We wondered what could possibly be causing the backup, during a weekday, not in high season. The sides of the road were still piled high with snow, and we thought perhaps someone had skidded off the road. Lo and behold, it was 3 adult bison escorting a baby down the road. He walked, wobbling along on his shaky legs, so we named him "Bobby McWobbleson." I submit the picture for your enjoyment.