Wednesday, August 27, 2008

How to earn a cushy spot in life

1. Find an unsuspecting baby lying on the grass, unattended by its parental units.



2. Next, make certain the object you spied is indeed a baby. It's recommended to do this by classic sniffing techniques, including the baby butt. If you smell baby powder, wet diapers, sour milk, or a diaper with a "baby present", you're spot on.


3. Flatten the baby to an appropriate size. Make certain to drool on him from your jowls. Germs are good for babies.


4. Slide said baby between your paws, similar to the way you hold a chewstick. Make sure to provide some lip-smacking actions, just in case it turns out it isn't a baby, but is in fact a chewstick.

5. Spy the hidden parental unit with the camera. Cock head in baroo fashion and lean in for the cute photo op. Wait for the "awwwww."






This should earn you pets, treats, and a warm safe place for life in addition to a fluffy human toy.

No comments: